Cock-an-effing-doodle-doo!

BIRDBRAINS: The roosters looking through out kitchen door.

,A little while ago I wrote about how a dog had killed all but two of our landlord's chickens, the two survivors being the cockerels pictured above.

At the time it seemed like a piece of good fortune that the two birds, initially quite shell-shocked, had survived. Lately, though, I've been having murderous thoughts and almost found myself wishing that the dog would pay a return visit.

The trouble is that the cockerels have abandoned their former accommodation, a chicken coop some distance from our house, in favour of anywhere they can roost right next to our house.

Their latest spot is a window ledge probably less than six feet from our bedroom window. Praise be that our bedroom window doesn't have a ledge big enough for two demented cockerels to roost on.

Even so, the ledge they have chosen is so close that at around 5am - yes, that's the 5 o'clock when most of you are still fast asleep - the two feathered maniacs start their moronic chorus. It is odd, because they do this for a while and then they shut up and I will admit that I can usually get back to sleep, but even so...

In a bid to head them off - as opposed to take off their heads, which is what increasingly I'd like to do - I put up a barrier which I hoped would stop the birds roosting in their chosen window. Sadly, it was not to be the case. Eileen the Third, the bird on the right in the picture, conceded defeat and found a spot at the opposite end of the house to our bedroom. However, his partner in crime, Big Whitey (possibly the Third or Fourth) just clung on to the barrier.

Like a mountaineer who has to bivouac on a cliff face halfway up a mountain, Big Whitey spent last night hanging on, having to make occasional noisy adjustments to his position. While I admire his tenacity, I cannot put up with much more of his crowing only a few feet from where I'm trying to get my much-needed beauty sleep.

Today I come up with Plan B to keep the roosters at bay. I have no idea what it is, but it had better work.

The music to go with this post comes from Wynonie Harris and is called, appropriately enough, Cock A Doodle Doo. He sounds quite cheerful about early morning crowing, but I think in his case it might mean something else. Such energy, how admirable, how unbelievable. Can I go back to sleep now?